Find the Scene That Makes You Cry

…and write about that.

When I started writing my memoir, Bringing Mom Home,

I told people it was because I thought the world needed to know what it was like to care for someone with Alzheimer’s Disease, so they could be more sympathetic and supportive for this group of people. It wasn’t till I was in the middle of writing it that I realized what the real point of my book was: to tell people the ways that God changed me and provided for me while I took care of Mom. Not just that He provided the things I needed. There was so much more. I wanted them to witness His goodness in making me so desperate that I cried out to Him in my poverty of spirit. I wanted readers to feel His mercy, which did not at first feel very merciful. They had to experience it along with me. That was the fire burning inside that kept me writing.

I didn’t know this until I wrote a key scene, the one in which my mother demanded that I get into bed with her and cuddle her. As I wrote, I suddenly felt compassion for her in a way I hadn’t felt that since the beginning of her illness. I knew in that moment that God was capable of changing my heart of stone into a heart of flesh. To this day I cannot tell that story without a catch in my throat and a tear in my eye. I’m still overwhelmed by God’s love and power and mercy every single time I think of that scene.

“What’s your book about?”

When people ask me, “What’s your book about?” I could tell them that it’s the story of how my sister and I realized that Mom had dementia and needed more care than the assisted living facility could give her, and we moved our families in together and cared for Mom at home. That would be true. That’s the premise. But that’s not really what the book is “about.”

When you go to write your story, whether it’s fiction or memoir, you need to find the scene that makes you cry. That scene will keep you writing. It’s the fire burning inside you that tells you, “this is so beautiful and important it must be shared.” That’s what your book is “about.” It is the thing that needs to be said. And you are the one who must say it. Everything else in the story is building up to that moment.

You  may know before you begin writing what your book is really “about.” You may discover it as you write into your story. But be sure that it’s there. It’s the very heart of your story. Without the main idea, your book may be entertaining, but it has no life.  

As you plan and think and write, ask God to show you what your book is really “about.”