Looking Bad, For the Sake of Love

There was no time that Mom didn't love me.She wanted me. She eagerly welcomed me into her life. I know this because she told me so, and the pictures show it.I know this because I remember being held and kissed and bathed and dressed. Mom listened to me. She took an interest in my life. Just enough to be loving, but not so much as to be controlling.It would have taken a great deal to make her stop loving me. She got a good running start and just kept going. She was always on my side. Even when we quarrelled, it was usually because of my thoughtlessness. Sure, she was offended and hurt. But I think she was more worried about what I would become if I weren't corrected.I didn't always feel loved by my mother. At times it felt like she was spiteful and unsympathetic and stingy. How I wanted a pair of jodhpurs when I was eleven years old! She could have gotten them for me. How I wanted the latest fashions, to be allowed to stay up late, to go to parties.... and how she seemed always to be standing in the way of any fun opportunities that came my way. She looked pretty bad to me then. Now I laugh to think that she was right all along, and it is I who have grown to understand that.